If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
