"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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