Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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