as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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