K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
