If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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