im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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