No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
