Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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