i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
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There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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