it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
