Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
