it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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