Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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