its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
