"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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