I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You pole danced in your parka.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i need some magic done to my vagina
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
