Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
