walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Text me some of your sweat
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
