"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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