So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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