if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
