take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
