im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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