Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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