It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
