Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
