he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
