do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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