She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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