You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
