I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
