I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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