Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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