4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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