I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
