And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
