Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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