With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
