I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
