no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
