Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
soo... how was my night?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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