Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
