Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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