we have officially lost it.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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