cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
