I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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