Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
home. puking in laundry basket.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
