we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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