Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
