she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
