end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
