so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
