You made me cry and you don't even care
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
