If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
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It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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