Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
