My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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