I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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