Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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