im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
