dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
