We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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