just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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