I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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