fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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