Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize