Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
