Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
